I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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