I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
