It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
