i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
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And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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