eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
