Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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