Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
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You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize