I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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