He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
