Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize