I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I had to cum in my sink.
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