girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
