You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
