Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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