I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Randomize
