I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
