i just had sex bonerless
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
