he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
