I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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