The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
