Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
