Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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