I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
there was a trapeze. enough said
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
