If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
