I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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