new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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