we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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