I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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