I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
