I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
