just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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