AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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