What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
