Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
