My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
