you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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