i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Randomize
