She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
