420 ftw
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
