either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Let's get the cat blown out
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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