After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
