The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
