why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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