I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
