exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize