Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
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When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
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Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
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