His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
