If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
You can't motorboat a personality
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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