They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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