In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
