We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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