Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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