Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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