my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
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