Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Green mimosas i think yes
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
