Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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