You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
