the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
