Is it because I queefed?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
