Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
