I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
