UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
honey bunches of taint.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
40s are totally the cure
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
