There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
