so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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