Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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